


Dealing with Your Demons

by Taylor_Made_Fics



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Coping, Depression, Eventual Smut, F/M, Female Friendship, Fluff, Food Issues, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Panic Attacks, Romance, Slow Burn, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:41:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24540961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taylor_Made_Fics/pseuds/Taylor_Made_Fics
Summary: Back at Hogwarts for her "eighth year", Hermione Granger feels alone. Without Harry and Ron by her side, how will she survive a year in the halls tainted with war and loss. Her and the ten other eighth years must live together and survive a year of unexpected friendships and NEWTs while trying to deal with the damage the war did to them all. Hermione Granger is in for an interesting year with the snakes and her new trio of Ginny and Luna.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Comments: 5
Kudos: 45





	1. A New Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So this is my first fic, please bare with me. I want all the help I can get, so please leave reviews. When posting this, I've written eight chapters, but I haven't fully decided where I want to go with this. Any comments/suggestions/ideas could really shape this story, so I'm open to anything! 
> 
> Thank you for reading!

The sound of the final warning whistle blared as she jumped very slightly, pulling her a bit from her thoughts. 

Standing there, on Platform 9 and 3/4, she had no idea what this eighth year was going to hold. Who all was coming back? Where were they going to stay? What did the castle look like now? A million questions were floating around her head all morning.

"Bye 'Mione, we'll owl you!" Ron said, pulling her back to the present.

"Yea, of course! Let us know when Hogsmead weekend is and we'll come visit," Harry said with a lopsided smile.

Ginny reached for her hand ready to pull her onto the train, as Harry gave her one final hug, and Ron gave her a quick peck on the cheek before a pink blush rose to his cheeks.

Stumbling forward as Ginny yanked on her wrist, Hermione gave one look back at her two best friends, smiled at them, and hoped the tears beginning to fill her eyes never made it to her cheeks as she turned around and blinked rapidly.

How could she possibly survive a whole year without her closest friends of seven years? Returning to Hogwarts to take her NEWTs was of course the right plan, and she should have known Harry and Ron would jump on any offer that didn't require returning. But knowing she was on her own still terrified. Going from a leg of the golden trio to being on her own had brought a new wave of fear and anxiety into her stomach.

Ginny, with Hermione still in tow, quickly found Luna in a compartment all by herself and the two girls joined her for the journey back to their second home.

Except now it's hallowed halls would be full of memories of war, loss, and tragedy. The three girls sat in relative silence after asking Luna about her summer with her father and the Quibbler. The three of them all anxious to be back at Hogwarts, but none wanting to discuss the dread they all felt like a brick at the bottom of their gut.

Ginny sat fidgeting with her golden bracelet complete with a snitch charm - a parting gift from Harry before he and Ron left for Auror training and Ginny returned to school.

Luna was absentmindedly staring at a copy of the Quibbler - obviously not reading as she had been staring at the same page for over 20 minutes.

And Hermione sat between the two - eyes locked on her shoes - with her mind full of a thousand questions once again and a heavy fear of the unknown causing her hands to shake slightly against her knees.

The war was over, but the damage was done. Trying to steady her breathing before either girl flanking her could notice it had become shallow and ragged, Hermione squeezed her eyes shut trying to block out the flashes of the Malfoy Manor chandelier and pools of her own blood or the echoing hysterical laughter of Bellatrix and anguish of her own screams.

As the Hogwarts Express approached Hogsmead Station, her hands shook a bit more with the fear that this year was going to be even harder than she imagined.


	2. Welcome Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for continuing to chapter 2! Chapter 1 was very short, most chapters I have waver around 1000 words. I'm trying to keep things short, but that also means there will hopefully be many many chapters. 
> 
> Please leave me any ideas or feedback you have; I want to make this story better as I go along!

The three girls entered the Great Hall with downward gazes and shuffled footsteps. It was Luna who first looked around, her dreamy gaze returning slightly as she put on her best soft smile and walked to the end of the Ravenclaw table. 

As Luna walked away, Ginny and Hermione looked at each other before glancing around the hall. Hermione's eyes first met Headmistress McGonagall as the lady gave her a soft yet sad smile that didn't reach her eyes. Scanning the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables for eighth years, Hermione's gaze bounced from Luna to Michael Corner and Padma Patil then over to Hannah Abbot and Susan Bones huddled together. The Gryffindor table housed many familiar faces but her eyes stopped on Neville who was chatting quietly with Dean. Neville looked up and gave her a small wave before returning to his conversation.

Taking a deep breath, she let her eyes float to the opposite side of the hall. A sad feeling loomed over her as she saw the Slytherins sitting in complete silence. The younger students were wide eyed and jittery. The older students looked solemn. She noticed a handful of eighth year returners. Pansy Parkinson sat with her knees drawn up, making herself as small as possible. Blaise Zabini and Theodore Nott sat across from her in complete silence, both staring at the wall behind her head. And then she noticed the white blonde hair. Sitting a few feet away from Pansy, he had his elbows on the table with his head resting in his hands, avoiding eye contact with everyone, despite Pansy's glances to her right every 30 seconds.

Suddenly she blinked and saw flashes of the great hall littered with bodies. Tonks and Lupin laying lifeless together, Fred surrounded by a sobbing family of Weasley, students she had only seen in passing but were far too young to see war. 

The uneasy feeling had returned in her stomach and her hands were shaking the worst they had all day. She cast a quick glance at Ginny, began to open her mouth to speak, but then quickly snapped it shut and ran out of the Great Hall to the nearest bathroom before vomiting in the first open stall. Sliding to the floor, Hermione's whole body was shaking and she felt hot silent tears begin to slide down her cheeks. It was only a few minutes before Ginny found her rocking back and forth slightly on the floor, with her head between her knees. 

"Hermione, are you okay?"

Ginny sat down beside her and carefully placed a hand on her back as she looked up slightly and simply stared at the red headed girl in front of her. A whole minute passed before she spoke.

"This is terrible," but her voice was hoarse from crying and it came out barely an audible whisper.

"Oh honey I know, I really know," Ginny said while rubbing small circles on her friends back.

The two girls were never terribly close, but they both knew they needed each other more than ever this year. Ginny stood slowly and offered a hand down to Hermione. With her hands still shaky, she lightly grasped it, allowing the younger girl to pull her to her feet. They didn't let go of each other's hand. Hermione took a few deep breaths and wiped her cheeks before looking back at the girl.

"We should probably get before McGonagall starts her speech, we've probably missed the sorting," Hermione mumbled.

With no response, Ginny gently pulled Hermione's hand toward the door, and they walked into the great hall again, and straight towards the end of the Gryffindor table. Even once they sat across from Neville and Dean, Ginny kept her grip on Hermione's still shaky hand. The comfort was nice, and it felt like a gesture to show that Ginny would be here for her throughout the year, even with Harry and Ron off at training. 

The girls glanced up at the Head table just as McGonagall was rising to give her welcome speech.

"Hello, and welcome back to Hogwarts. Some of you may have noticed, but we have a handful of students returning to redo their previous year as they did not get to sit for their NEWTs. Our "eighth years" as I am calling them, will be living in a new eighth year dormitory in one of the towers. I will escort you all after the feast tonight. Now, I will not stand here and tell you all that this year will be easy. We have all endured far more than many ever will. I hope with each passing day that you all breath a little easier as we try to leave the past in the past. I hope this year can bring you healing and new friendships, as well all attempt to carry on with our lives."

As the Headmistress took a moment to take a deep breath, Hermione's grip on Ginny's hand tightened. Looking at each other, with sad smiles on their faces, their eyes glossed over with unshed tears, a moment of remembrance was shared. Despite the distance made from Ginny staying at Hogwarts the previous year while Hermione, Ron, and Harry were searching for Horcruxes, they two girls had grown closer while Hermione stayed at the Burrow this summer, sharing a room, sharing tears, and hearing each other's scream from nightmares. As they stared at each other, it was made clear they would be each other's rock this year. 

With a softly whispered "thank you", Hermione squeezed Ginny's hand again and the girls looked back to McGonagall.

"Now, I hope you all enjoy the feast and that this year brings you all happiness you never thought you would find again."


	3. The Feast

The Great Hall remained quiet throughout the entire feast. Hermione and Ginny spoke to Neville and Dean, asking about their summers.

"Well Gran and I decided to go on Hols, I think she just wanted to get away from everything for a bit, try to forget. We went to France for a few weeks, but we didn't do much. Barely spoke actually. I don't think we know what to say to each other." Starting to get choked up, Neville finished, "She did say she was proud of me though. Said mum and dad would be proud too." 

Dean's summer had been a little different. He went home to his muggle family, who knew very little of the war. "They just couldn't understand, you know? And I didn't want to talk much about it. They kept trying to cheer me up and do normal things - go watch a film, shop with them - but none of it felt right. When I got the letter to come back, I knew I had to. No matter the memories here, it's at least nice to know everyone here understands," Dean trailed off looking down at his plate, as the other three nodded silently. They had all survived but lost so much in the process.

Hermione started to tell them of her time at the Burrow, before Ginny took over the conversation and talked about the family quidditch match they'd played. The Burrow wasn't the same as before, but it felt like home to Hermione. She had left out the details of her summer about her parents, still living in Australia because she couldn't reverse the memory charm without doing permanent damage to them. The Burrow was essentially her home now, and she was grateful the Weasley's accepted her as one of their own. 

As the quiet chatter of the Gryffindor table got even quieter, save for the Quidditch talk happening around her, Hermione looked around again. The first year Gryffindors were seated together at the front of the table, talking louder than any other students. It must feel like an accomplishment to be sorted into the house of the "golden trio", the war heros. She didn't feel like much of a hero, if anything, she felt broken and lost still. The Hufflepuff table was quiet, the first years eating and talking softly amongst themselves. Luna was trying to talk to the first year Ravenclaws but they all looked very confused. She was probably telling them about nargles and wrackspurts, and that brought a soft smile to the corner of Hermione's lips. But it didn't last long. 

The Slytherin first year, only two of them, were sitting beside each other. One was crying while the other looked around nervously every few seconds. Her heart ached. What must it feel like to be sorted into the house everyone assumes is evil after the war? She felt sure the two first year girls had begged the hat to place them anywhere else, judging by their reactions. No one was speaking to them, they only had each other. The rest of the Slytherin table was deadly silent. Hermione thought it must have taken a lot for some of them to come back. They came back knowing they'd be judged, hated even, for their roles in the war, but she remembered, they were all just kids as well. None of them should have had to fight in a war, regardless of which side they were on. Her eyes shifted back to the far end of the Slytherin table, where that same white blonde hair sat. Draco Malfoy had returned to Hogwarts. His mother had been cleared of all charges after Harry spoke at her trial. But Lucius had been given 10 years in Azkaban. And Draco had been cleared like his mother. Harry and her both spoke at his trail. Going over the night he didn't reveal Harry's identity had been difficult. It was the worst night of her life, but she wasn't going to let a kid go to Azkaban, regardless of his behavior towards her for seven years. No child deserved that punishment, so she gave her case, Harry gave his, and Draco Malfoy was given 6 months of house arrest. 

Looking at him now, he looked paler than usual. His hands were clasped tightly in front of him, and he had barely touched any food on his plate. Pansy was still glancing at him every once in a while, and he continued to ignore it, only staring down at the table. Hermione couldn't help but wonder what he must be feeling. She wondered if he'd call her a Mudblood anytime soon, if he'd make a snarky comment about having to share a common room with Gryffindors. But she didn't feel like that would happen. He looked broken and lost, just like she was. Maybe her and Draco Malfoy have something in common.


	4. Eighth Year Dorms

"Do you all think you'll come by the Gryffindor common room tonight once McGonagall gets you all settled?" Ginny asked as people began to file out of the Great Hall. The three nodded at her and Neville muttered "we'll be there" as the girl waved and turned toward the large doors. 

The eleven eighth year students were all shifting silently at their tables, waiting on McGonagall to speak.

"Follow me you lot, we're heading to the west tower. Your new dormitory is a little below the owlery."

The students followed their headmistress trough the castle as she continued to speak about their living arrangements. Hermione was barely listening, instead she was trying to block out the sounds of the final battle from her head. Her hands were still shaky and her breathing was starting to speed up. She decided to count bricks as she walked, trying to calm herself back down. 

"There will be a common room for you all and then four room, two for the boys and two for the girls," McGonagall was saying once Hermione's breathing was back to a normal pace. "One boys room will have Mr. Longbottom, Mr. Thomas, and Mr. Corner, leaving the other for Mr. Nott, Mr. Zabini, and Mr. Malfoy."

Hermione's eyebrows furrowed together as she wondered why the headmistress decided to keep the Slytherins together. She probably knew there was likely to be a duel if she placed them amongst the other eighth years. Glancing to the left a bit, she could see the profile of Draco, who looked just as confused with the knowledge of getting to live with his fellow Slytherins. Blaise and Theo shared a quick nod to each other and both smiled.

"Now for the girls dorms, we will have Miss Patil, Miss Bones, and Miss Abbott together, leaving Miss Granger and Miss Parkinson in the other room."

Hermione's eyes went wide, and Pansy whipped her head around to look at her. Pansy's eyebrow raised slightly, as if waiting to see if Hermione would make any comment about the living arrangement, but after a few moments of silence and a shrug from Hermione, Pansy turned back around.

"Ah so here we are!" 

Hermione had been so zoned out for much of the walk she barely knew where they were. There was a door in front of them, but it wasn't until McGonagall said "amicitia" that she noticed the face on the doorknob. The doorknob yawned, mumbled "welcome to your new home", and the door opened.

McGonagall sent them in, told them their timetables for the year were on their beds with their trunks, the boys' dorms were down the left and girls’ down the right, said she would see them all at breakfast, and walked away.

Hermione entered her new common room, taking in the moonlight from the large window to the right. The room was round, with two downward staircases on either side of the large fireplace directly across from the door leading to the dorms. In front of the large window was a table she supposed she could use for studying. A couch and a few armchairs sat near the fire, with another couch against the left side of the room. The lighting was dim, using the glow of the fire to keep the room bright. The furniture was all browns and tans, neutral as to not show any house favoritism. 

Hermione noticed Neville and Dean heading for the stairs leading to the boys’ rooms so she headed to the right staircase. Once she reached the bottom, she saw two open doors, and entered the one with two beds. Her bed had a red and gold comforter on it, causing her lips to turn up slightly in a smile. She sat down on the edge and began to glance at her timetable when Pansy Parkinson walked in. 

Pansy let out a long exhale upon seeing her bed, covered with a green and silver comforter, and picked up her timetable as well.

"So Granger, how's your schedule looking tomorrow?" 

Hermione blinked a few times and stared at the girl, shocked she was even speaking to her.

"Hello? Earth to Granger? I'm trying to play nice here. What's your schedule?" Pansy said after a whole minute.

"Oh um, I have alchemy first thing in the morning, then charms then potions. Do you have anything similar?"

"Looks like I'll see you in charms and potions, Granger. Can't believe you're taking alchemy though. Sounds bloody hard if you ask me."

"I'm sorry but can I ask why you've even decided to even speak to me?" Hermione asked, still thoroughly confused by the whole situation.

Pansy shrugged, "I mean, we're going to be living together, thought it would be easier to do that if I wasn't a bitch the whole time." 

As she said it, Hermione couldn't help but notice she looked rather small and almost scared, like a porcelain doll that could break at any moment. Getting up and walking toward the smaller girl, Hermione held her hand out, and said "I appreciate the lack of bitchiness then" with a small smile. 

Pansy snorted, shook her hand, and said "I only said I wouldn't be one the whole time, don't expect me to be perfect." And the two girls stood there, smiles on their faces. It was a moment Hermione never expected to happen; her eighth year was definitely going to be full of surprises.


	5. Back to the Lion's Den

Hermione was almost finished unpacking when she heard Neville call her from outside the door. 

"Hermione? Still want to go see Ginny?" he asked.

She quickly placed her last stack of books on her dresser and walked out the door, pausing a moment to send a wave toward Pansy, before meeting the boys.

The walk to the Gryffindor common room was much longer than they expected.

"Man I sure am glad we have a later curfew than everyone else or this trip would be pointless," Dean huffed halfway through their walk.

"How are you settling in Hermione?" Neville asked with a worried look on his face.

"Surprisingly well? Pansy was actually...nice to me? Said she didn't want to make living together any harder than it would already be. Was very surprising but it's better than her hating me I suppose."

The two boys looked at her like she had sprouted a second head.

"Pansy Parkinson? Pug faced Slytherin queen? NICE? I can't believe it..." was all Dean could say. 

"I have a feeling even the Slytherins are struggling with being back. Most of them had to watch their parents go to Azkaban, some of their friends also died. Just because they were on the other side, doesn't mean anything was easy for them," Hermione said.

"Sometimes I think you're too kind for your own good, but you do have a point.." Neville said softly.

The rest of the walk to Gryffindor tower was done in silence. It wasn't until they reached the portrait of the fat lady that they realized they didn't even know the password.

"I can't believe we walked all this way and can't even get it!" Dean exclaimed.

"Maybe we can knock?" Neville suggested.

Hermione knocked quietly, hoping Ginny was in the common room waiting for them. When the portrait swung open, there was Ginny with a big smile plastered on her face.

"Oh please come in, I want to hear all about these new eighth year dorms. What's the common room like? Who are you living with?" 

It was Neville who spoke first.

"Well, Dean and I are living with Michael Corner. He seems nice enough, good bloke I guess. McGonagall left the three Slytherins together in their own room. The real kicker is Hermione's room."

Ginny quirked an eyebrow and looked at her waiting for an explanation.

"Well Susan, Hannah, and Padma are together. Which left me in a room with Pansy Parkinson."

"You're kidding!" Ginny yelled as she began to laugh. "Oh that's got to be loads of fun, she tried to give Harry over to Voldemort! What's McGonagall thinking!!"

"She actually hasn't been that bad," Hermione muttered. "We shook hands and everything. She asked me about my classes and said she'd see me in charms and potions. It's quite odd if I'm being honest."

"Merlin, you're in for an interesting year. You all are really," Ginny stated. "The eleven of you sharing a space? And four of them are snakes? I'm hoping you'll all keep me updated on how it's going because there's bound to be a duel or something."

"You know we'll fill you in, Ginny. Daily report given to you at breakfast" Neville laughed.

"So what's everyone's schedule like for tomorrow? I have alchemy, charms, then potions." Hermione stated.

"I've got herbology, history of magic, then potions, sounds like an awful first day honestly," Ginny said.

Neville went next, saying he has charms and potions with a break in between.

Dean has transfiguration, charms, then potions with the rest of them.

"Well potions will be like a great Gryffindor party then! I think Luna has that with us too." Ginny added happily.

The four stayed by the Gryffindor fireplace a while longer, talking about quidditch and what they thought DADA would be like this year until Neville let out a loud yawn.

"I think it's time we start to head back. It's getting close to the eighth year curfew anyways and I don't want to fall asleep into my potion tomorrow," he said with a smile.

The group hugged Ginny and said they'd see her at breakfast in the morning, before they began the long walk back to the tower.


	6. An Unlikely Bond

Hermione woke up to her wand vibrating beneath her. She had set her alarm early, 5am to be exact, because she knew this morning would be difficult. As she sat up in bed, her stomach immediately felt full of lead. Thinking about classes, sitting next to people who weren't Ron and Harry, there would be no Lavender Brown giggling, she felt sick. Today was supposed to go on like a normal day, the first day of classes, but nothing was normal and nothing was right. Her hands were shaking and her breath was rapid. In an effort to not wake Pansy, she stumbled out of bed and quickly tiptoed to the girls bathroom. She only made it to the sink before vomiting and collapsing on the tile floor.

She had no energy to move, her body felt like it was pulled down by weights. Laying on the cool tile, she pulled her knees up to her chest and cried. She cried for the Weasley's, she cried for her parents, she cried for Andromeda and Teddy, she cried for Lavender, for Colin Creevey, she even cried for Crabbe. The war had taken too many lives. How was today supposed to be normal?

Hermione had no idea how long she laid immobile on the floor, crying silent tears the whole time. She didn't move until the bathroom door opened slightly and hit her back. 

"What the fuck is happening?" Pansy exclaimed.

"Granger? Why the hell are you on the bloody floor at 6 in the morning?" 

Hermione didn't move. She could barely hear Pansy talking to her over the sound of screams echoing in her brain.

Pansy squeezed past the door and looked down at the body on the floor again.

"Merlin you look awful," she mumbled as she squatted down. "Look I told you I'm not always going to be nice to you, but something is obviously very wrong right now so tell me what I can do."

Hermione just stared at the girl in front of her, as if seeing her for the first time, her breathing still coming in short shallow bursts.

Pansy huffed, and attempted to pull Hermione off the ground and back onto her feet. It took a few minutes, but she finally got Hermione standing with her arm draped over Pansy's shoulders as she dragged them back to their room. Pansy deposited Hermione back to her bed, and Hermione just sat there, shaking. 

Pansy sifted through her bag beside her before speaking, "Okay, I know you can hear me right now, Granger, and I'm pretty sure I know what's happening to you, so I'm going to hand you this vial of draught of peace and you're going to drink it, and I will sit here until you're breathing normally. Then we will either talk about this or you can tell me to ignore it, your choice."

Hermione's shaky hands brought the vial to her lips and she tipped it back, swallowing quietly. Within a few minutes, her breathing and heart rate were normal and her hands were no longer shaking.

All she could do was stare at Pansy with a quizzical look on her face. 

"Why...why did you help me?" she asked softly.

"Honestly? Because I've been there. Why do you think I just happened to have a Draught of Peace in my bag or knew exactly what was happening to you? You get panic attacks, sure yours are bad, but you survived a bloody war! I'm surprised you're not worse off," Pansy responded.

Hermione was still looking at the girl across the room like she had no idea who she was. There was no way this was the Pansy Parkinson she had seen for seven years. "Well I...um I'm not really sure what to say. But thank you. Really thank you. I'll get you a new potion to replace the one you gave me," Hermione said.

"Look Granger, it seems like we have something in common. I'd like to propose a friendship. You obviously need help, and you only haven't seen me in nearly the same state you were just in because you were with the lions last night and missed my attack. If we're going to live together, and we're this fucked up, I think the least we can do is be friends and help each other out."

Hermione realized the raw honesty Pansy was speaking with. She was owning up to her own issues after the war, openly admitting her panic attacks, something Hermione had only told Ginny about, and offering a metaphoric olive branch of friendship.

"Friends....we're not going to go around skipping and holding hands are we?" Hermione asked with a slight smirk.

"Ha ha, hilarious, Granger. No, I just think we can help each other when we have a rough day. Maybe even walk to breakfast together, but no holding hands for sure," Pansy retorted.

"Okay then, yes, I'd like that. Friends it is, Pansy Parkinson."

"Back at you, Hermione Granger. Walk to breakfast together in a bit?"

"Sure, I'll meet you in the common room in 30 minutes?" 

Pansy nodded before walking out the door, leaving Hermione dumbfounded by this newfound friendship.

Her, Hermione Granger, friends with Slytherin queen Pansy Parkinson. She scoffed at herself.

"Well I don't think today can get any weirder," she mumbled to herself before getting ready for the day.


	7. Spending Time with the Snakes

Hermione finished getting ready early, so she made her way up to the common room five minutes before Pansy was supposed to meet her. She reached the top of the stairs, expecting it to be too early for the rest of the students to be there, but there on the couch, was Draco Malfoy.

The pair simply stared at each other for a moment. Hermione was unsure if she should speak, and Draco simply looked empty. His grey eyes had no life behind them as he stared at her. And that is why she couldn't look away. What happened to the arrogant boy who teased her for years? What happened to the aristocratic way he used to carry himself? This version of Draco Malfoy was different, and it didn't sit well with her. They were still staring at each other when Pansy made it up the stairs.

"Granger, you ready to - oh, Mr Brooding is up early today!" Pansy quipped. 

Draco glared at her, but then looked between the two girls as confusion flashed on his face. 

Pansy noticed, filling in the gaps for him, "Granger and I are walking to breakfast together, not sure if you decided to finally speak to your friends or not, but if you have, feel free to follow."

Draco's brow furrowed together more, when he finally spoke. 

"You? And Granger? Walking together? What the hell happened in that dorm of yours? Play truth or dare? Have a pillow fight?" he said as a smirk played on his lips.

"And he speaks!!" Pansy yelled happily. "Seriously Draco, walk to breakfast, you can't avoid everyone forever." And with that, she headed toward the door, Hermione following closely behind.

The two girls walked toward the Great Hall in silence, and Hermione could hear the third set of footsteps echoing behind them. It seemed like Pansy could too, based on the smile still on her face from the common room.

Once they reached the doors, Hermione said a quick "see you in charms" to Pansy before heading to the Gryffindor table.

Once she sat down alone, as it was too early for any of her friends to be here, she grabbed a piece of toast and glanced at the Slytherin table.

Pansy was talking to Draco, who seemed to be only half listening, but it was better than he has been at dinner, Hermione noted. Every once in a while, he would nod at something she said or raise an eyebrow. She noticed he was actually eating something this morning. Just an apple, but for some reason she felt better knowing he wasn't skipping another meal.

Deciding to use the rest of her early morning to prepare for the day, Hermione pulled out her alchemy textbook and began re-reading chapter one before going to lecture. This is how Ginny found her, 15 minutes before classes were to start. 

"Oh Hermione! I cannot believe I'm running late. It's the first day, I can't be late!" 

Hermione looked up at her friend grabbing two pieces of toast and an apple, looking frantic. 

"Morning Gin, guess you slept too late to get a run down of life as an eighth year. I'll fill you in at lunch?"

"Sounds great! I've got to run all the way to Herbology! See you at lunch, have a good first day!"

As the red head sprinted from the Great Hall, Hermione let out a soft chuckle. Some things were still the same, like Ginny running late on the first day. The feeling of normalcy was welcomed, it felt right. Packing up her bag, Hermione left the Hall ready to walk to Alchemy with Professor McGonagall.

Hermione was early to the classroom; only Michael and Susan were there already, seated beside each other near the front. She took a seat at the table to their left, and waited for the rest of the class.

A few moments later, all three eighth year Slytherin boys walked in with McGonagall entering right behind them. The three boys looked around the room, then back to one another. It was Theodore Nott you smiled at the other two Slytherins before walking up to Hermione's table.

"Anyone sitting here?" he asked.

Hermione looked at him. Theo Nott had never said a word to her, and now he was asking to sit beside her? Today was the oddest first day ever.

"No it's not taken," she said.

He sat down beside her before flashing a grin to Blaise and Draco on the other side of the room.

He stuck his hand out to her. "Theodore Nott, at your service," he said with a smirk. 

She shook his hand, eyeing him cautiously. 

"What? I don't bite, unless you want me to, but I don't think we're there yet." His eyes held a mischievous glint in them. Theodore Nott was an interesting character.

She shot him a quizzical look and opened her mouth, but snapped it closed when McGonagall began talking.

The rest of the class was pretty painless. They talked about the chapter she reread this morning on the four elements, and McGonagall assigned a partner essay due at the end of the month.

"So, Granger, from what I know about you, you're going to want to start this essay today. I'll compromise with you and say tomorrow. We can meet in the library at 7 o'clock?"

"Um sure that works I suppose. I can take some notes before we meet then and hopefully get a head start," she responded.

And with that he turned and walked away, throwing his hand up in a quick wave as he left, meeting up with his Slytherin friends at the door.

Hermione stared at the door frame, watching the three Slyhterins walk away, thoroughly confused by the way her eighth year was going.

"Draco Malfoy hasn't said a word to me, I'm friends with Pansy Parkinson, and Theodore Nott is my alchemy partner," and with that odd thought, she headed off to charms.


	8. A Lesson in Love and Silence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here with a chapter update! I worked more on this one, and it's longer than any of the previous ones. I'm very excited about handling all of Hermione's interactions with the Slytherin's differently, as they're all unique people and will mesh with her in different ways. Pansy and Theo have established a bit of a rapport with her, and it's only a matter of time before she speaks alone with Blaise and finally gets some alone time with Draco. And if you didn't believe this was a slow burn like the tag said? Oh buddy, it's going to be a sloooooow burn!
> 
> Plus I love Luna, and writing anything she says is so fun. I definitely want to make her role bigger as this stories goes on I think! 
> 
> Thank you for the kudos and reviews so far, and for sticking with me as I navigate this first fic. I hope it's as fun for you as it is for me!

All the eighth years had charms together, with a few seventh years Hermione didn't know very well. The class went well, no huge surprises. She sat with Neville in the front of the room working on nonverbal spells, even earning 5 points for Gryffindor for completing all the spells early.

The class felt normal. And then it was time for lunch.

Hermione immediately found Ginny at the Gryffindor table and took a seat beside her.

"I'm having the oddest day," Hermione mumbled.

Ginny looked at her, eyebrows raised, waiting on her to continue.

"So um you know my attacks? I had a very bad one this morning, and it was Pansy Parkinson who found me in the bathroom."

"Oh Merlin! Really? That can't be good," Ginny interrupted.

"Well actually she was...well she was nice? She gave me a Draught of Peace and everything. Said we should be friends..." Hermione trailed off.

"And? Did you laugh at her? Hex her? What?", Ginny questioned.

"I agreed, and we walked to breakfast together this morning. But not before I ran into Malfoy in the common room."

"Well this is getting interesting," Ginny mumbled.

"We just started at each other Gin! For almost five minutes!! We stood there until Pansy came up and got him to speak. Apparently he hasn't spoken to any of them for a while, she seemed very pleased that he spoke at all. He looks almost sad all the time, it's odd.

"And then Theodore Nott willingly sat by me for Alchemy this morning, and spoke to me! I feel like I'm going crazy!" Hermione added.

"Well looks like living with the snakes is going to make for a very interesting year. Do you think they've really changed? Or are they all just trying to keep from getting Hexed or thrown out of school?" Ginny asked.

"Honestly I don't know...Pansy also gets panic attacks so I think she might genuinely feel bad for me and wants to get along. Nott, I have no idea. He tried making a witty joke to me but I was in such shock that he was even speaking to me, I didn't know how to respond. And Malfoy, there's just something off about him. Haven't you noticed?" 

The two girls glanced at the Slytherin table, where the four eighth years were sitting together and talking. Well, all but Draco were talking. He sat there in silence still, barely touching any food on his plate, listening to the others, but never once did he contribute to the conversation. The girls looked at one another.

"See?" Hermione said.

"I don't know who that is, but it sure doesn't seem like the Malfoy that tormented us for years," Ginny responded.

They went back to eating, but Hermione kept glancing up at the blonde boy across the hall. Their eyes met once, but neither looked away quickly. He quirked an eyebrow at her, and a very faint blush rose to her cheeks for being caught staring. She quickly looked away and asked if Ginny was ready to go to potions. If she'd looked at Draco a minute longer, she would have seen the small smirk that played on his lips.

The two girls stood to leave, and headed to the dungeons for their first lesson with Slughorn this year.

Potions began with Ginny and Hermione seated beside each other, with Luna and Neville across from them, all staring as Slughorn wrote today's potion on the board.

Amortentia.

Hermione looked at Ginny and groaned.

"We've done this before. I have no desire to do this again, it's not even that difficult!" Hermione huffed. 

"Let's just get it over with," Ginny suggested. "It'll smell like Harry to me and like Ron for you, we know what to expect. This will be a piece of cake!" Ginny added optimistically.

Ron. Things were...awkward between them. Yes, they kissed at the final battle. Yes, they had sex after that battle. And then they awkwardly bumbled around each other the rest of the summer. There were some extra lingering touches, longer hugs than usual, and some kisses on the cheek. But neither of them ever spoke of what happened at the battle. Even as she left Ron and Harry on Platform 9 and ¾, his kiss on her cheek felt almost wrong.

And Hermione felt queasy just thinking about it. She loves Ron, really does, but she wasn't sure if she wanted a relationship. Ron wants a good wife. A girl to follow him around, do the housework while he's at work, and pop out freckled red headed children. She just didn't think that sounded like her dream too. But wasn't it supposed to be? Would the position smell like Ron's hair like it had in fifth year? For the sake of normalcy, she really hoped it did.

The girls gathered their potion ingredients - peppermint, powdered moonstone, rose thrones, Ashwinder eggs.

They spent the class time in quiet concentration, chopping and stirring their potion. Once it was finished and the spiraling steam and had a nice sheen over it, Ginny leaned in to smell.

"Yup still smells like quidditch gloves, the Burrow, and Harry. No big surprise there!" she said, laughing a little.

Hermione took in a deep breath in, leaned in a bit, closed her eyes, and inhaled slowly.

Fresh mowed grass.

New parchment.

And...something new.

Something like oak and moss. A woody scent she couldn't quite place, but it definitely didn't smell like Ron.

Hermione's hands began to shake again as her brain clouded with a million thoughts. 

Why doesn't it smell like Ron anymore? Do I not love him? I'm supposed to love him. Harry, Ginny, Mrs. Wesley, they all expect me to love him. Oh god, oh god, this cannot be happening. It’s meant to be Ron, everyone expects it to be Ron. 

Ginny wasn't paying any attention to her, as she and Neville were discussing Quidditch. It was Luna's eyes Hermione met as she glanced up, hands shaped into fists, nails digging into her palm, trying to control the shaking.

"Love potions are a funny thing," Luna said with a dreamy lilt in her voice. "It shows you things you never knew about yourself. Much like the dabberblimps you know? They also float around people who are confused. You have a couple, Hermione, Theodore does too. Draco has more this year than I've ever seen someone with. It’s very exciting. From confusion comes self knowledge eventually."

A steady pink tint on her cheeks and creeping down her neck, Hermione continued to attempt to control her breathing.

"That's great Luna. Thank you for enlightening me," Hermione breathed out with much difficulty.

Glancing back at her potion, her head was swirling with the scent of mossy trees, thought of Ron, of a life she was supposed to want, but she knew deep down she didn’t. It was all too much for one day, so she turned and ran out the classroom doors, shaking hands still clenched into fists. She didn't make it ten paces before tears were streaming down her cheeks, hot against her skin. When she finally stopped running, no clue how far she’d wandered from the dungeons, she crumpled to the ground, glancing up. And it was Theodore Nott who was running after her.

"Granger? What the bloody hell? Slughorn saw you leave, asked me to follow you. Didn't know I'd be running halfway across the castle, would have stretched before and all. I'm in better shape than I look right now," he gasped.

All she could do was sit flush against the wall, wrapped up into herself. She looked smaller than most people had probably ever seen her. She wiped her tears from her face, staring off at the wall behind Nott, unknowing smearing bits of blood she had drawn while digging her nails into her palms.

She noticed he didn’t smell like a mossy forest.

"Granger, you've got blood on you. Are you alright? I can take you to Madame Pomfrey." He actually sounded concerned, and for some reason, that fact made Hermione more confused and more anxious.

She shifted her gaze and stared at the wizard in front of her. Theodore Nott. Son of a Death Eater. Part of a Sacred Twenty-Eight family. He was a pureblood Slytherin. Why was he staring at her with confusion, concern, and maybe even...pity?

Oh, she did not want pity.

A new fire flashed behind her eyes for a second. She angrily wiped the remaining tears from her face, and she began to stand. She didn't make it more than five inches off the ground before she fell back into a heap.

Nott extended his hand to her. "Granger, I'm not going to ask questions, not going to take you to the infirmary as long as you perform a quick scourgify on yourself, and we'll walk back to potions. In silence if that's what you prefer. Just please get up and stop crying."

The offer of a silent walk back was tempting. No questions, meaning she didn't need to give any answers. They would walk and act like the whole ordeal never really happened. Maybe it could just disappear...like magic.

Hermione tried to take a deep breath to steady herself, but it came out ragged and she coughed. Giving her face a final wipe to ensure the tears were done, she extended her right hand to Nott's open faced palm. He pulled her up onto her feet, gave her a second to steady herself, listened as she whispered a timid "scourgify", then walked back the way they had come.

Hermione stared at his retreating figure for a few seconds before following him back to the dungeons.

They returned right as the rest of the class was beginning to leave. She quickly packed her things, ignoring the confused stares from her fellow Gryffindors, the understanding look Pansy shot her as she passed, and the bewildered glance Draco threw over his shoulder. She mumbled a barely audible “thank you” to Nott, and she hurried out the door.


	9. A Trip to the Kitchens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! Finally an actual conversation between our favorite Slytherin prince and the Gryffindor princess!
> 
> Please leave any ideas, opinions, criticisms you have! I'm still learning and I want to grow through this story! And the plot is ever changing, so drop any ideas you have for me!
> 
> Thank you for going on this journey with me, and I hope you enjoy the chapter!

Hermione woke up to the sound of an owl pecking at the window of her dorm room. She wiped the sleep out of her eyes the best she could and failed to stifle a yawn as she sat upright. She assumed she'd fallen asleep after rushing here from potions, trying to avoid everyone she could. Her eyes were sore from crying and her body heavy from utter exhaustion. 

"Lovely first day back," she mumbled into the empty room.

By the time she made it to the owl, she was awake enough to realize it was Pig. Hermione opened the window as a feeling of dread re-entered her stomach. The letter attached to his outstretched talon was from Ron. She untied the note, tossing it on the bed, telling herself she would read it later. Maybe after dinner, if she hadn't missed it yet.

With a quick wave of her wand, the time blinked in front of her. 8:30 already. Great. Before she could even decide to just skip eating together, her stomach let out a low rumble, and she knew she'd have to trek down to the kitchens.

At least it would be nice to see to talk to the house elves again, make sure they're being treated right.

She quickly tried to tame her hair in case she ran into anyone, pocketed her wand, and headed up to the common room.

Her mind was reeling, thinking about how she’d missed precious studying time. She had a charms essay due at the end of next week and she wanted to work on it today. Looks like that wasn't happening.

Her mind didn't slow until she had almost made it to the door to leave, and someone cleared their throat.

She hadn't even noticed anyone sitting in the room.

She turned around slowly, on edge but trying not to show she was surprised. And her eyes landed on Draco Malfoy.

Her brow furrowed, confused as to why he even tried to get her attention.

"Nice to see you alive after potions, Granger," he drawled. "Not like you to run out on precious learning time."

Her confusion quickly faded as she went on the defensive. 

"I'll have you know I had already finished the assignment, Malfoy. Not like I rushed off to skip class. Although it barely seems like you're even paying attention in classes." 

"Oh and you'd know that how? Staring at me in class, Granger? Tut tut, you should be taking notes on the material, not on my god-like jawline," he smirked.

She was beyond fired up.

"Like I would ever do that. Good to know you're just as egotistical and arrogant as before though. Looks like some things never change."

But even as she said it and really looked at him for the first time that night, she could tell he couldn't be the same.

His eyes looked hollow, his cheeks sunken in, he looked skinnier than before and paler. He looked ill even. And she remembered she'd never really seen him eat since they returned to Hogwarts.

He scoffed, "We all know I'm pretty, Granger, just admit you stare at me in class."

"Malfoy, I'm heading to the kitchens. Would you like to come?"

He was not expecting that, and she smiled as his eyes widened and his lips parted slightly in his shock.

"Why would I ever do that? Especially with you?" 

"It was just an offer, just thought you might want something to snack on. Whatever, just forget it," she said, turning to leave. She wanted to call him out, let him know she knew he barely ate, but maybe he was piecing it together in his head now. And she doubted him knowing she knew would make him more inclined to accompany her.

"Wait. I'll come." 

Looking over her shoulder, she smirked. "Hurry up then, I'm famished. Slept through dinner."

And the pair walked out of the common room.

They didn't speak, just walked, several feet in between them. Hermione kept glancing over at him, unsure if she should speak, and even more unsure as to why he agreed to tag along.

The silence was peaceful really. After the day she's had, it was nice to have quiet. And her thoughts were so occupied by the confusing man beside her and the prospect of food, that she couldn't lose herself to a million thoughts.

The pair rounded the final corner and walked down the set of stairs, coming face to face with the painting of a bowl of fruit. Hermione reached out, gently ticking the pear until it giggled, and she smiled, grasping the newly appeared doorknob. 

"After you," she motioned to Draco.

He walked in and she followed behind. Winky appeared in front of them with a 'crack'.

"Miss Hermione! How is you? I misses you. Miss must come visit Winky more!" 

"Hi Winky, it's nice to see you," hermione smiled. At least it didn't seem like the elf had been drinking tonight. 

Winky turned to look at Draco. 

"Oh no! This is no good. Not good. Mister Draco! This is bad." 

Draco looked completely baffled, and Hermione stifled a laugh.

"Mister Draco must eat! Winky will bring food for you. You is too skinny, Mister. Much too skinny. Is bad. Bad Mister Draco." 

And with that Winky disappeared and Hermione fell into a fit of giggles.

"Granger this is not funny!," Draco shouted, but it only made her giggle more.

"She's just worried about you, Malfoy. Without Dobby around anymore, she got over her drinking problem and took on the role of "most concerned house elf" here. She seems to like you honestly," she said with a small smile.

"Well she can bring all the food she wants, doesn't mean I'm going to eat it."

Hesitantly, she said, "You really don't eat much here do you." It was barely a whisper, but she knew he heard her. 

His body tensed, his hands drew into fists by his sides. His lips were pressed into a firm line. 

"Granger, I don't know what you're trying to do, but you don't need to fix people. Definitely not me. I know you invited me here because you seemed concerned. I honestly still don't know why I agreed to come, maybe just to see if you’d admit what you knew," he said. "But stop. You can't solve everything."

"I know," she mumbled. She felt guilty, but she really was worried about him. Then again, people were worried about her and she didn't want that. Maybe they had more in common than she thought. "I'm sorry for inviting you then. I know I can't solve you problems, or fix you, but maybe consider tonight an olive branch. I won't bother you about this, but know that I get it, if you do ever need anything."

"I don't think you do get it, Granger. You were on the winning side." The air felt heavier between them. 

And that was when Winky decided to pop back up, holding a giant bag of food and drinks.

"Winky brings food for the Miss and Mister! Winky want them to eat! Food is good!" Winky grinned happily. 

Hermione took the bag, told Winky thank you and that she'd visit again soon. The pair left the kitchen as the elf disappeared once more.

They walked in silence again, but it was no longer comfortable. Hermione wanted to say something, anything really, but nothing seemed right. She knew the war was hard on others. She knew Pansy had panic attacks and it seemed to make Nott a kinder person. But what all had it done to Draco? To be that close to Voldemort for so long. She glanced at him again and honestly believed he was brave for even being here at all.

She needed to say something. And it all fell out in a quiet rush.

"I don't know what the war was really like for you and I won't pretend I do. I can assume it was awful of course, but I don't know what you went though or what you're going through now. Yes I invited you to the kitchens to try to get you to take some food because I noticed. Almost all of us are struggling in some capacity. And my olive branch still stands, if you ever do need anything." 

"Yeah, okay," he mumbled. 

So she continued, "I know something that's going on with you, so it's only fair I share something I think."

This got him to look at her, but a bored expression was still set on his face.

"I get panic attacks. They're quite bad actually. Like today when I ran out of potions. Nott found me halfway across the castle, I don't even remember going that far. I had dug my nails into my hands so hard I drew blood and had smeared it on my face. It wasn't a good time. Pansy's found me having one too." She glanced at him before going on, his mouth set in a firm line. "And I hate that people know that something’s wrong with me. But at least people are nice about it." 

They walked in silence until they made it to the portrait hole. They stopped in front of it and as Hermione opened her mouth to say the password, Draco began to speak.

"Granger, you're pretty fucked up." And he said it with a smirk. The nerve! Her eyes went wide and she was ready to tear into him with anger. "But you're right, we all are I suppose." 

She softened again. Draco Malfoy had admitted she was right about something? She never thought she’d see the day. He whispered "amicitia" to the portrait and stepped in. She laid the bag of food out on the table in the common room. It was far too much, even for the two of them. Summoning a piece of parchment and a quill, she wrote a quick note telling everyone to take anything they'd like. She laid it down, leaned over to grab a sandwich, some crisps, and a bottle of gilly water ready to head back to her room. 

But before she stood upright again, she saw Draco move from the corner of her eye. His hand picked up a green apple from the table, and her eyes shot up to meet his. They were closer than they'd been all night, both leaned over the table, and he winked before standing up straight and walking towards the boy's stairs. She watched him go, eyes searching for any meaning in what just happened. And she heard the crunch of the apple before he was out of sight.

A smile played on her lips. An apple wasn't much, but it was something. And he had been tolerable tonight. Save the snarky comments before she extended her invitation to the kitchens. It was an odd night indeed. Grasping her food closer to her chest, she closed her eyes and breathed in through her nose, relishing the small feat she felt she had accomplished.

As she did, the faintest scent of oak and moss made her eyes shoot open. And it clicked. She'd smelt it while they were both leaned across the table too, and a bit in the kitchens.

Draco Malfoy smelt like oak and moss.


	10. Eye Contact and Alchemy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! So sorry for the delay with this but it has been absolutely hectic for me recently. I'm taking summer courses for my college and trying to get a group research paper published for a conference, so my free time has been very small recently. I should be back to posting at least once, hopefully twice, a week now however!
> 
> As always, please leave any feedback or tips or general comments you have - I love to read them and I really consider everything you say! Thank you all for the kudos on this; I'm truly having a blast writing and I hope you're all enjoying it as well!

The next day had gone along at a disastrously slow pace. First her morning panic attack, which caused her to miss breakfast. Then class should have been fine but Hermione could swear she felt Draco’s eyes staring at her constantly, but she could never seem to catch him in the act. Why did she have to have every class with him? It felt like rotten luck, but she should have expected it. He’s smart, the only person who can keep her on her toes, of course he’s taking as many NEWTs as here this year. 

After her rough morning, Hermione thought lunch could be a well deserved break. Once again, she was wrong.

Talking to Ginny was nice, but she could feel his grey eyes on her across the Great Hall. The worst thing was he didn’t even try to hide it anymore! She would glance up and meet his eyes before she would roll hers or furrowed her brow together. And he would just stare back at her! Always with either a smirk or slightly raised eyebrow. And that only infuriated her more. At one point she huffed loudly, drawing Ginny’s attention from Quidditch to the staring contest across the Hall. 

Of course she had questions, and Hermione tried to evade all of them with insults.

“Why is he staring at you like that?”

“Because he’s a git? Massive prat? Trying to get under my skin?”

“Well it obviously seems to be working. You’ve looked like your head could explode since we got here!”

“He’s just being his normal self centered, egotistical, cockroachish self Ginny. I’ll ignore him, let’s finish up and get ready for next class?”

The girls ate quickly and quietly after that. And when they left the Great Hall, Hermione couldn’t help but glance over her shoulder at the Blonde Git staring at her, and she sent a smirk of her own. It wasn’t until she was about to turn back around that she noticed Theo, Pansy, and Blaise all looking at her as well. And then they all glanced at Draco's smirk and his raised eyebrow. She didn’t even try to read their expressions as they looked between the two of them, she just left the Hall as quickly as she could.

———

After dinner, it was time to meet Theo at the library to get started on their Alchemy project. Hermione felt oddly nervous - she still didn’t know Theo very well but he had seen her at such a weak moment, and it didn’t seem like he told people about it and he hadn’t brought it up. Maybe he was being genuinely nice, but she had a hard time accepting that. He is a Slytherin after all.

Theo strolled into the library ten minutes after Hermione had sat down and found at least five books on Alchemy. 

“Starting without me Granger? I’m offended,” he clutched his hand to his heart in fake pain.

Hermione rolled her eyes at him, as he sat down and pulled a book out of her stack.

“I take it you already have a plan for this project then?”

“Well, I was thinking we could focus on the history of Panacea. No one’s ever succeeded and the closest anyone has gotten would be the Philosopher’s Stone. But just researching a universal cure? It sounds fascinating doesn’t it?” Hermione’s eyes were bright as she started up at Theo across from her.

“You seem much too happy about this topic, so I’m not going to take it away from you,” he grinned. “Just tell me which books you’d like me to read and I’ll take some notes.” 

Hermione smiled at him before passing across a book on current disease treatments and one Nicolas Flamel’s research. They stayed in the library for hours, the only sound being the scratch of their hurried quills and Hermione’s quick intakes of air if she read something interesting.

By the time Hermione finished her third book it was almost 10pm. 

“I suppose we should call it a night,” Hermione said while flicking her wand to make a copy of all the notes she had. She handed them over to Theo as he copied her motions, making copies of his own to pass across the table. 

The pair packed up their things and headed out of the library back to the eighth year common room. Their walk was filled with silence until they were almost to the portrait.

“You know, I thought you’d be insufferable to work with, Granger, but I’ve got to say, you’re not half bad,” Theo said with a goofy smile she’d never seen before. 

“Happy to be full of surprises then. And you’re pretty alright, Nott,” she replied with a smirk. “Just don’t do anything to piss me off too badly and I think we’ll be just fine.” 

He chuckled quietly as they entered the common room and both walked towards their respective staircases, sending a smile to one another as they parted. Hermione’s smile didn’t fall the whole way down the stairs or once we landed on her bed. She simply laid there, thinking about her possible friendships with no one but two Slytherins.

She should write Harry and Ron soon, and she couldn’t help but think maybe she should leave her friendships with Theo and Pansy out of the letter. Deciding she wasn’t tired enough for bed yet, and Pansy wasn’t there to complain about the light, she pulled out a piece of parchment and began to write.

Dear Harry and Ron,

It’s only been two days of classes but I wanted to write to you both now. As I’m sure you know, being back in the castle is difficult at times, and it’s harder without you both by my side. I’m lucky to have people here I trust though. Ginny and I eat all our meals together - she misses you both very much. There have been no fights, no duels, nothing dangerous yet, despite the number of Slytherins in our dormitory. I’ve been wondering how the war affected all of them. We were all children, none of us deserved to have to fight a war, regardless of which side we were on. I’m wondering if some of them have changed, or if they’re just tired of fighting. I know I am. 

I hope you’re both enjoying Auror training, and I can’t wait to see you both soon. Please try to not get killed before Hogsmeade weekend which is in three weeks. I would like to see you both in perfect shape then, no broken bones, cuts, or bruises. Be safe both of you.

Sending all my love,  
Hermione

She placed the parchment in an envelope from her desk, ready to take it to the owlery before breakfast.

Hermione quickly changed into a pair of pajamas before crawling into bed, but her mind was on Ron. She had considered writing two separate letters to the boys, making them personal, but she couldn’t think of what she would say differently. They were her two best friends, they came as a pair essentially. Maybe if she and Ron had discussed all that happened right after the war, or if he mind didn’t drift to the lack of Ron-ness in her brewed Amortentia. While she felt a bit of guilt for all of her doubts regarding her and Ron, Hermione couldn’t help but feel a bit relieved. They were better off as friends, she was sure of it. As long as they got on the same page soon, everything would work out. And there was absolutely no need to think about the newest scent that couldn’t leave her mind.

Instead she closed her eyes, thinking about seeing Ron and Harry again in only three weeks, and she drifted off to sleep.


End file.
